I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, because it’s something people don’t usually talk about. When you are breastfeeding a baby, it’s seen as normal. When your baby gets to a certain age, you start getting the questions, ‘Are you still breastfeeding?’ And then, still a few months later, there is silence. Everyone just assumes that you are not breastfeeding anymore. In a way that’s better than being questioned all the time, but it also makes you feel like you are the only person in the world doing it.
Because breastfeeding a 2-year-old is not like breastfeeding a baby. You don’t have to feed regularly and for us feeds were reserved for bedtimes only. If I was out, Little Monkey would happily miss a feed or two and resume on the next day (except when she didn’t). But if we were both at home, she’d demand her breastfeed, loudly and in no uncertain terms. She’d know what she wanted and she’d be out to get it.
There was one time when Little Monkey was slightly unwell and cried for two hours before I soothed her with a breastfeed. I felt so guilty that I didn’t think of it earlier, but it just showed that breastfeeding was no longer my main way to connect with my daughter. Not even one of the main ways. Still, it was good to have such a powerful tool at my disposal when I needed it most.
I had passing thoughts of weaning her, more than once. But then I had to ask myself the question ‘why’. And the answer, ‘Because no one else does it’, was somehow not good enough. Plus I’m lazy. Why create more work for myself and more tears for my daughter when I could just let nature take its course. Self-weaning was still hard emotionally, but at least there was no effort involved, no guilt and ino engorged breasts.
‘It’s the end of one adventure and the start of a new one.’ (Caz @ The Truth About Mummy)
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I’m linking to the Breastfeeding Blog Hop again in support of the World Breastfeeding Week and I’m flogging my blog at Casa de Glowless today. You can link up, too.
Hi, I'm Tat. I believe that through motherhood we're given another chance to find ourselves, grow and shine. I have three beautiful children and I learn a lot from them every day. This year I'm searching for ease in everything I do.
As well as all it’s other well-documented benefits, breastfeeding sounds so handy. As does self-weaning (haven’t had a baby myself so really don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to breastfeeding and am just trying to avoid the thought of engorged breasts, lol!). Glad to hear it was pretty straightforward for you and the emotional strain of weaning wasn’t made worse by any other factors.
I’m all about convenience so hope that once I do have a baby, breastfeeding and self-weaning happens for me too.
It IS such a powerful tool. There have been times when veggie baby was just out of sorts and nothing would soothe her. A quick breastfeed and we were back to our old selves again. I wonder sometimes what on earth I would do if I hadn’t breastfed? I think personally it’s been so helpful.
This is amazing – I wrote about the exact same thing a little while ago. My last baby is 19 months old this week, and still has two feeds a day. I know they’re more for comfort than anything, but I am loathe to stop them. There is something so beautiful about feeding her – is it the cuddle? the wandering hands? the little in-jokes between just her and I?? – that I refuse to be the one to say enough. And since I went to hell and back feeding her big sister, I am enjoying every moment. But people are beginning to be shocked when I mention “still” breastfeeding, as though it’s some weird hippy notion. Call me whatever you want…as long as it’s a proud toddler-breastfeeding mama!!!
I must admit I’m slightly envious! In the beginning with my little one I just struggled a lot. I didn’t know if I was going to make it to 12months, which was my goal. But then nursing just became so great- and I started thinking ‘maybe I could go longer?’. Life had other ideas however, I fell pregnant again when she was 9 months old and managed to persevere until just after 12 months before my supply just dwindled (and also- ow!) so in the end I was quite happy to wean, and we did it really well. But at the same time I still miss it a little and wish we could have just finished when we were ready. I’m hoping I’ll be able to do that next time around!
Connection is the one thing people tend to forget about the beauty of breastfeeding, especially when they’re on the other side judging.
I totally agree about letting nature takes its course. Why push something on your child when obviously its just not time ?