Sometimes people we care about can say things that hurt us. A lot.
I believe that the way people treat us are a reflection of how we treat ourselves. Clearly, I have some work to do in this area. But that takes time. I was looking for a more immediate solution and I found something that resonated with me in Be Gentle, Be Love by Amanda Oaks*. Here it is in short:
1) Write down everything that you’d like to say to ‘them’. Don’t hold anything back.
2) Paint over it with love. Pour love all over it.
I got so excited about painting that I nearly skipped the first part of the exercise. But I thought I’d do it properly (I told my newsletter subscribers that I would), so I set out to write everything I had to say. Of course, the pain came back. I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t fit everything onto the page, but I ended up with just enough space.
Then came the painting (I blurred it a bit to make sure my angry writing is not legible).
This art project didn’t solve the problem but it took the edge off, so that I could go to bed and sleep instead of wanting to cry all night.
It made me more open to looking at alternative ways of approaching the situation.
It helped.
Later I thought how similar this experience was to some guided mediations I’ve done, where you imagine the problem then shine the light onto it, or surround it with a bubble of love. Only for me it was a more real experience. I could see it, I could touch it (and get my hands dirty), it was there. My kind of meditation.
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Hi, I'm Tat. I believe that through motherhood we're given another chance to find ourselves, grow and shine. I have three beautiful children and I learn a lot from them every day. This year I'm searching for ease in everything I do.
Hi Tat,
I’ve read about this idea to rid oneself of unwanted, negative thoughts and feelings before and love how you’ve done yours.
The art on top reminds me of the freedom of fingerpainting – so smooshy!
Thanks for your visit to my blog and your lovely, positive comment.
xoxo
Vicki recently posted..The Girls of Summer and A Bit of Art
I love your idea and I also like your words, “my kind of meditation.” I think it is important to remember we all have our own way of doing things and while it is great to try new things we should also trust in ourself and our own intuition.
Ginny recently posted..Sunday’s Quote and Reflection
Sorry to hear that you’ve been wronged. I hope the pain is starting to fade away.
I love these types of releases, where you wrap your hurt up in love and let it go. Sometimes it doesn’t quite work, but in this case, the result is so beautiful it’s hard to see how it wouldn’t help! Great idea, I’m going to try this the next time I’m feeling hurt.
Janelle W recently posted..Mia’s birth, Saturday 22 May 2010 – Part 2
What a great idea ~ so creative of you ~ glad it took the edge off ~ thanks, namaste, ^-^
I love this. It’s kind of what I do in my Art Journal when I am mad or if I have questions. Thank you for sharing x
Becky from BeckyandJames.com recently posted..#31
This is indeed a great way through the challenges of Life with other humans. A long many years ago I sat my family in chairs all round my apartment and gave them the unbridled truth of how I was feeling. Mind you, I was 3000 miles from all of them, and I had to go drag some chairs in from out in the courtyard, but there they all were!! I think the write and paint over idea is much more manageable and wise, too!! Thanks for sharing and I am delighted that it has helped you BEcause YOUR generosity surely helps those of us who read you!!
Currie recently posted..21 May
I like to write down the things they say that I don’t like and then burn the piece of paper. Gone! x
Maxabella recently posted..The reality of imaginary TV friends
Not a bad idea, but Last time I checked we had no matches in the house. We had to use the gas on the BBQ to light my daughter’s birthday candle. Maybe it’s time I visit a tobacco shop (for the first time ever).
I always used the writing out technique to get the edge off… never thought of painting over it with love – great idea!
I fully agree with you on how our own thoughts and feelings are sometimes projected by what others tell us. It’s great to have such a meditative session all the while creating beautiful art! I love your painting!
Thank you for stopping by on my blog
Sara recently posted..First night in Veliko Tûrnovo
{gentle hug} Loving meditation. I´m more of a “burn it” girl, lol. Yours sounds healthier.
Vibrant piece, lots of energy there.
Paula – Buenos Aires recently posted..Week 20
Wow! What a great idea! It’s almost like a creative form of meditation. Sounds like we need another playground catch up. Next week ?
Grace recently posted..Just like a prayer
Hi Tat – I just found (and subbed to) your blog via the lovely comment you left for me on Denise Mullign’s Harvest Moon blog. Thank you so much for having a look and the compliments on my Celtic mandalas. Although I’ve only just found you, I’m really enjoying what I’ve read – especially your thoughts in this particular post. It’s a brilliant, cathartic and empowering solution and form of meditation – to first express and purge your anger, frustration, sadness and then pour love and loving kindness over it to douse the negativity out with positivity and kindness – to yourself and for the ones who’ve hurt you..including our own selves sometimes. That’s how I feel when I paint my mandalas – the energy I get from them has positive and loving power over anything that is or has upset me.
Wonderful and powerful – thanks for sharing this with us, Tat. I look forward to more of the love and positivity from you. – June
Thanks, June. I don’t think I’d seen anything like your Celtic art before, or at least I hadn’t looked carefully before, so it definitely caught my attention. That’s why I love visiting all the Creative Every Day posts – everyone’s expression of how they see the world is so different, sometimes completely unexpected, but the underlying feelings, the longing for love and peace is something we all have in common.
Being able to do something about the pain always makes it better. Thanks for the post.